Chapter One – A Healer and Three Bandits Walk Into a Bar…
I suppose you could say that my journey with Boar's Head began when I beat the shit out of three lowlifes who attempted to accost me as I passed through "their part of the road." Well, I fairly quickly neutralized the threat, and upon realizing that they were more injured than I had previously intended, I saw to their wounds and made sure that they would be able to make it back to town. What I didn't realize was that one of them would become conscious while I was healing his buddies, and invite me for a drink because of my good manners. I accepted, being what one might call an "alcoholic" (although I do prefer the term, "sampler of fine spirits"), and followed these good men into the nearby town of Cavanry.
When we reached the gates of Cavanry, we were stopped and told that there was no passage into or out of the city. I, using honeyed words and a silver tongue, managed to weasel me and my associates into the city in return for helping one of the guards get over a cold. Of course, I saw to it immediately and he was feeling better before his treatment was even over. Once I made it in and we were free to go – as per the guards' decree – we set off towards the nearest tavern and sat down at a table in search of Cavanry's best.
And, once again, it turns out that another unplanned detour had entered the tavern a near half-hour after I. A green dragonborn wearing full plate armor walks in and begins molesting patrons for information of local happenings. Eventually, he makes his way to my table. Until now, the three thugs that I had rescued from their injuries earlier had been becoming more and more drunk, more and more annoying, and I was beginning to realize how absolutely simple they were. I used this dragonborn – who appeared to be fairly well equipped to protect a simple healer from any future bandit attacks – as an escape from the bar and my three inebriated clients.
Once out of the bar, and forgive me for I was very drunk at the time this was happening, we for some reason made our way to the mayor's mansion. We were stopped at the gate by two guards who seemed very worried about the mayor. I told them that I am a physician well equipped to handle whatever might be wrong with him. After three journeys inside to speak to their employer - and a rather homosexual awakening - I and my new friend Ilko made way into the mansion. The guard then begins to give us a tour of the place and I, always inquisitive, slipped away to "use the chamber pot." Instead, I snuck off in search of wherever this mayor was.
I very quickly and easily found out the location of this mayor due to the loud yelling and slamming coming from inside of his room. Despite my many attempts to speak with him, he remained as obnoxious as ever. Around this point, I heard something from the other side of the mansion snap with a resounding twang. Fairly soon after, I heard – from the same corner of the place – something fall onto the floor and shatter. I realized my time in stealth wouldn't be much longer, and attempted once again to get the attention of the mayor. I looked through the keyhole and discovered that something very evil was occurring (blue-flamed candles, a summoning circle, things to be sacrificed, etc.), and attempted to gain access by way of the doorknob.
Of course, at this point I hear from the first floor (I was located on the balcony in plain sight) "Uhh…. You're not supposed to be up there." I turn around and with honeyed words manage to convince the guard that I had gotten lost and that I would be very interested in the history of this mansion. While he was distracted by recounting the history, I pulled out my hand crossbow and fired into the bolt of the door, unlocking it in order to reach the troubled mayor that I assumed was being sacrificed to some dark lord.
Here is the next unplanned event of the day (aside from making up a new disease, trespassing, sneaking around and being caught). To my surprise, all of the evil summoning and blue candles I had seen earlier were gone. Nothing to be seen except an ordinary room with a rather ornery mayor. I, dumbfounded, looked back through the keyhole to see if it was a trick of the eye. In fact, all I saw through the keyhole this time was a red light with no detail. Almost as if I was staring into a red infinity. I looked back in at the mayor, still angry and now approaching the door. I closed it again to see if the view through the keyhole had changed. It hadn't, but my view into the room was obstructed by a rather upset old gentleman standing before me. Long story short, I stumbled through trying to convince him I was here to help, cast light onto his shirt, and got myself and my new friend captured by the guards and sent to the dungeon.